


A Legacy to Protect

by xbetterthanrevengex



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Female!Aaron Burr, Gender or Sex Swap, Multi, its hard being the first female senator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-19 16:45:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7369786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xbetterthanrevengex/pseuds/xbetterthanrevengex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erin Burr always knew she was destined for greatness, she just had to wait for the opportunity to present itself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And the World's Gonna Know Your Name

Erin Burr always knew she was destined for greatness.

It was what her parents had hammered into her head ever since she was a child; she never felt stifled by the pressure that was put on her, if anything, it empowered her. Even as a child, her parents encouragement made her want to conquer the world, to be everything they wanted her to be. Maybe it was because, in a strange way, Erin felt like she owed them.

It was no secret that her father wanted a son (her name wasn’t ‘Erin’ by pure coincidence) but his mind was changed the moment he held the little girl in his arms; in that moment, Aaron Burr Sr. promised to give her everything she would need to thrive in a world that was still controlled by the British.

Even though the man was always traveling, (trying to change the world the only way he knew how; to found a college where the minds of the future could figure out a better tomorrow), Erin never felt neglected by her father. He would always be sure to be home for the majority of the summer and holidays, devoting all of his time to his daughter, time that was usually spent studying with the young girl and teaching her a new language. Erin didn’t mind, she enjoyed being taught by her father; sometimes, she felt that he was the only person in the world who didn’t underestimate her.

Well, both him and her mother.

Esther Burr always wanted a daughter, but she knew she would be happy no matter what gender the baby turned out to be (however, her glee was infectious when the Doctor confirmed that, yes, she would be having a girl). Erin spent most of her days with her mother; Esther a housewife that dabbled in freelance journalism (unlike her husband, she enjoyed being close to home). Erin had fond memories of watching her mother work in her home office, noticing how her face would scrunch up when she developed a case of writer’s block or how a lopsided grin would appear on her lips before typing out a rather long idea.

She wasn’t just smart on paper, but a genius as she entertained her father’s colleagues from Princeton; Erin still believed she watched a room of men fall in love with her when Esther began to talk about the political climate across the sea.

She wanted to be like her mother when she grew up.

Erin had told her mother this fact one night as she sat on the couch in her office, a book on her lap. Her mother paused in her typing, a slight shake developing in her hands as Erin suddenly grew afraid; did she say something wrong? However, the older woman collected herself as she resumed her work, a soft smile on her face as she said, _ my dear you will be everything I wish I could be _ .

It took Erin to reach her adult years to realize that even though she saw her mother as a hero, Esther Burr never felt like she was enough.

* * *

 

Her father develops a cough.

At first, it was nothing to lose sleep over; fall was turning to winter, and that weather was always harsh in Newark. Erin watches from the living room as her mother brings her husband a bowl of soup, the two sharing a small moment as he pressed a kiss to her forehead; the daughter would keep that memory in the back of her mind for the rest of her life, pulling it out whenever she needed to be reminded what love truly was.

When her father returns from a trip up to Princeton, Erin notices the differences in his physique instantly. His usual ‘bulky’ stature had been reduced to a skinny frame (though he swears he isn’t hungry when dinner approaches), his once tan skin now has a yellow tint to it. He denies a trip to the Doctor, saying that he doesn’t have time for a visit with his busy schedule.

They end up taking him after a harsh coughing fit sends him to the floor, blood dripping from his mouth with each wheeze.

The Doctor confirms the worst; lung cancer. Erin didn’t know how her father could develop the condition; he never smoked, although he did have the occasional cigar with colleagues. Her mother pins it on being “overworked” but, from the look in her eyes, Erin knows she already blames herself ( _why did I let him go?_ she hears her mother mutter one night).

He rejects the offer for chemotherapy ( _l_ __et_ me die in peace,  _ he practically yells at her mother when she fights him on it) which gives them a good three months left with him. They said their goodbyes the night before he passed; the once strong man now looking small in the hospital bed, the sheets practically drowning him.

Erin would never get the image of watching her mother weep onto her father’s chest, the husband holding her close and looking to be on the verge of tears as well (he didn’t cry, he never cried). Erin walked timidly up to the side of the bed, stifling a sob as her father placed a careful hand on her cheek and spoke his final words to her.

_ Make me proud. _

* * *

 

Nothing was the same after her father’s death.

The house didn’t have as many visitors; mourners stopped coming the day after the funeral, and all of her mother’s friends were her father’s first. Her mother never left her office, telling Erin that she was “taking on more assignments to make ends meet”; this turns out to be a lie when Erin picks up the call from her mother’s boss, the man asking with a clipped tone where articles "a, b, and c" were.  

Erin lies and says her mother is working on them. The young teen ends up finishing the articles and sending them through Esther’s email; that paycheck was how they paid the electricity bill that came later in the month.

She notices that her mother is quieter, only speaking when spoken to or in the rare occasion when she would give Erin advice. Erin tried to get her talking by bringing up the books she read, or what she had learned in school that day, but she would have none of it; simply nodding and excusing herself back to her study for the rest of the evening.

Erin had distinct memories of watching her mother spend the whole day in bed, her grief keeping her from getting up to face the day. Erin wouldn’t allow herself to drown in grief, she had too much work to do. Her father’s dying wish was to make him proud, and she planned to do just that.

It was a year after her father’s death when Erin walked into the office, bringing food for her mother to eat, when she noticed Esther Burr hunched over her desk, no longer breathing.

* * *

 

The Doctors would tell her that she had “died of a broken heart”. Erin didn’t have the heart to tell them that she found the pills Esther had overdosed on in a bottle on the floor. Or maybe she didn’t want to admit to herself that her mother was broken and she didn’t even notice.

The funeral was short.

Besides a handful of family members and a few of her father’s colleagues that could be bothered to come, there weren’t many people in attendance at the cemetery. Even so, Erin still felt like she was drowning under their gazes. Stares of pity, words of condolences that wouldn’t bring her parents back, and the silent question of  _ what are you going to do now? _

She was luckier than most orphans; her parents had left her a heavy settlement of money, even if it was in the form of a trust fund that she couldn’t touch until she was eighteen, it was still money; money that could pay her fees for college.

In the end, that’s what they told her they wanted; her parents didn’t want Erin to become a grieving orphan, they wanted her to go away to school, to conquer the world that was slowly becoming even more stifled by the British rule.

Saying what her parents' goals were was easy. 

The hard part was figuring out how to get there.

* * *

 

The day after the funeral, Erin was shipped off to live with Timothy Edwards, her mother’s brother. 

Esther never spoke much about Timothy, only sending him Christmas and Birthday Cards that Erin had to sign out of necessity. Erin had never seen him before the funeral, though he insisted that he met her when she was a baby (as if her undeveloped brain would remember such a forgetful personality).

Going from a house of support to the Edwards home was a shock; they treated her like nothing, and often acted as if she wasn’t there. It was during these years when Erin threw herself back into her studies, ignoring the fighting between her Aunt and Uncle as she tried to focus all of her energy into not punching one of her snot-nosed cousins in the jaw.

It was a lonely three years, and Erin would end up not talking about them at all.

The only pro of being under Timothy’s wing was the fact that she didn’t have to move far; though, she wouldn’t be leaving anyone if she did. Her connections in Newark were gone when her parents were lowered into the ground.

Unlike her parents, Timothy was old fashioned in his views (a Loyalist). He saw Erin as a woman and  _ only  _ a woman. He wondered aloud what worth she would have in the world if she couldn’t satisfy a man.  _ How could your parents let you fail?  _ He had asked her one night after they got home from a party in which she turned down dance after dance, much more comfortable reading in the corner. (she resists the urge to tell him that it's 2012, but decides to talk less; what's the point if he won't listen?)

Erin never verbally gave him an answer, but was sure she was heard loud and clear when she left his abode on her 18th Birthday, her trust fund at her side, in favor of Princeton.

* * *

Erin had applied to Princeton College two months after her father died (she had enough credits to do so, as well as a recommendation from both an adviser and her father, the  _ founder _ ) but received a rejection letter in the mail only two weeks later. 

She wasn’t upset by the news. Her time would come, she just had to be patient.

Which is how she ended up in the Admission Office on a Monday morning, wearing one of her mother’s pantsuits (that she could now fit into) and clutching a bag that held a file containing all of her academic accomplishments from elementary school to senior year as well as her application essays and recommendations she had sent before (maybe he needed to take a better look at them).

“Erin Burr?”

She looked up from her shoes to see John Witherspoon, an old colleague of her father and a once frequent guest inside her home. He had gotten older since Erin last saw him, but then she realized she had gotten older as well.

“Good morning, Mr. Witherspoon.” Erin stood up and smiled fondly.

“You’re not that little girl I remember,” He grinned, hands on his hips as she examined her. “How long has it been?”

_ Since my father’s funeral, you know, before you completely disregarded my mother? _ Erin stopped herself from saying. Now wasn’t the time for idle chatter, she needed to work her charms if she wanted to start her studies in the current semester.

“Too long, but hopefully that will change.” Erin dug out the file, holding up to the man. “I’m ready to begin my education here at Princeton.”

Witherspoon paused, but still hesitantly took the file out of her hands. Erin grinned; first step, completed.

“Miss Burr, we have many applications come in each day,” He tucked the file under his arm, “We can’t just put them on hold…”

Erin nodded. “I understand; mine was actually one of them.”

“...Really?” Witherspoon replied, voice slightly shaking now. He was curious now. "Didn't you just graduate?"

“My father encouraged me to apply early.”

Erin watched as Witherspoon tensed at the mention of a ‘dying wish’. She wasn’t above using her family’s status to get inside the school (or anything, in general). She may be an orphan, but Erin was still a Burr; she could prove to them why she deserved to be in Princeton once she got in and blew them all away.

And, as Witherspoon ushered her into his office for a “quick meeting”, Erin finally felt that her chance to do so had finally arrived.

  
  



	2. Minds at Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting laid wasn’t part of Erin's plan for the evening, but neither was meeting Alexander Hamilton.

Erin was accepted into Princeton on the spot, granted a class schedule that was routine for first year students as well as a room assignment with a student who had recently lost their own roommate. Witherspoon told her how she was “lucky” that they had space for her, but they both knew luck had nothing to do with it--she was a Burr and, therefore, a hard worker.

As she walked the Princeton grounds with her two bags in hand (besides a few outfits and trinkets left by her parents, Erin didn’t have many possessions), Erin took in the energy around the campus. It was only the third week of classes, but students were already spending their days on the green lawn, taking in the sunlight that was still warm with summer as some studied while others played Frisbee (she even saw a few young couples making out; kids worked fast here, it seemed).  Erin couldn’t contain her smile, finally feeling as if she was in the place she needed to be.

She was home.

The dorm building was built with grey brick, and Erin couldn’t help but think how it resembled a castle more than a place for college students to sleep; it’s towering stature and powerful presence reminded her of her father, filling her with a sense of familiarity. Her room was on the first floor, the third door to the left, and seemed to be practically vibrating to the sound of music playing within it. She considered knocking, not wanting to startle her roommate, but decided against the tactic as she slid the key into the lock; she had to know she was getting a new roommate today, that wasn’t something they just sprung on students, right?

Erin opened the door, expecting to see a student hunched over her schoolwork, but instead was greeted by the sight of two girls sucking face on the couch. She froze, unable to even form a sentence, but luckily didn’t have to as the blonde went wide eye and separated from her partner; the black-haired beauty seemed confused as to why they were stopping.

“Did I bite your lip too hard again, babe?” She asked, her eyes still closed.

The blonde kept her eyes on Erin. “Uh...you have a guest, 'gel.”

The other girl opened her eyes and looked towards Erin (who gave an awkward wave) before quickly standing up from the couch. Erin swore she could hear a few muttered curse words as the girl grabbed a remote and aimed it towards a iHome, quickly lowering the music while her partner shrugged her cardigan back on; Erin suddenly felt like she was intruding.

“I can come back later,” Erin began, already bringing her stuff out into the hall. “I’m sorry to--.”

“No, god, you have nothing to apologize for.” The girl reassured as she walked towards her. “I completely forgot that you were coming today--new roommate, right?” Erin nodded as the girl took her bag out of her hand, setting down into the room before smiling at her. “Angelica Schuyler.”

Schuyler; the last name of the New York Senator. Erin was sure she heard her father talking about the man, and she did recall getting a sympathy card in the mail a few days after his death, but she had never met him; nor knew that he had any daughters until now. Erin decides not to bring up the Senator (talking about one's father after walking in on a heavy make-out just doesn't seem right).

“Erin Burr.” She grinned. “Nice to meet you.”

Angelica smiles, relieved that Erin was moving past the awkward situation. It took her two years to come out to her family, she wasn’t expecting to have to reveal herself to a stranger in the span of three seconds.

“Burr,” The woman on the couch speaks up, curious. “Isn’t that one of the founders of this place?”

Erin pursed her lips. She couldn’t hide her parentage when she was named after the man (she wasn’t ashamed of being related to the founder either), but she didn’t want people to think that she got in merely because of her name. Not when she wasn’t able to prove herself first. Angelica playfully rolled her eyes, and Erin can tell she knows the feeling of being recognized for their parents before they know who they truly are.

“And that nosy girl on the couch is my girlfriend, Hannah Cowley,” Erin grinned as Hannah gave a wave, which she returned. “I promise we do more than make-out.”

Hannah stood up from the couch, collecting her coat. “Aw, don’t lie to the poor girl,” She made her way to the door, grinning. “It was nice to meet you, Erin.”

“You too, I’m sure I’ll see you around.” She replies, keeping the tone light.

An easy smile came over the girl’s face before telling Angelica to call her and leaving the dorm. The room fades into a silence (not painful enough to be described as awkward) as Erin looks around the dorm; the living room is huge, a fireplace in the corner, with a small kitchenette and bathroom.

“I should’ve knocked first.” Erin speaks suddenly, filling the air.

Angelica waves her comment off. “Please, this is your home now, too.” She picks up the duffel bag. “We can work out a ‘sock on the door’ thing later.”

Angelica opens the only door closed in the dorm and, from the lack of life within it except for a desk and dresser, Erin knows it hers.

She hadn’t had a room to herself in such a long time; the Edwards’ placed her in a room with her ten-year-old cousin (who seemed to be allergic to silence) and, after her father died, Erin became used to falling asleep on the couch (just in case her mother did leave the study).

“Is this all you have?”

Angelica’s voice rips Erin out of her memories, the girl gesturing to the two duffel bags she placed on the sheet less bed (uh oh, she didn't pack any). It wasn’t much; one bag held her clothes (she desperately needed to shop) and toiletries while the other had her books and binders of work; granted, she also had a laptop bag strapped across her body, but that only held the electronic and pictures of her family. Erin suddenly felt self conscious (she was in front of a Schuyler after all, the richest family in the City).

“I’m a light packer,” Erin shrugged, because that was easier than saying _“my parents died and I couldn’t get the money they left me until three days ago”_. “I’ll probably end up going into the City to get some stuff.”

She can tell Angelica’s smart by the way she narrows her eyes, as if her stare would pull the truth out of Erin. But, she doesn’t ask her about her stuff any further, only nodding as she settles herself on the desk chair.

“I hate packing too,” She begins, watching as Erin opens up her stuff. “My sisters’ ended up doing it for me because I kept procrastinating.”

Sisters; more to the Schuyler heir, she guesses. Angelica mentioning her family brings Erin the perfect opportunity to dig deeper.

“Ah, are you the oldest or youngest?”

Angelica grins. “Oldest; Eliza is a senior and Peggy just entered her junior year; you’ll meet them soon enough, Eliza likes to visit since this is going to be her school next year...if you don’t mind.”

Erin likes the idea of the dorm room always have visitors; it was how she grew up, with guest filtering in and out of the household for dinner parties or lunches. She smiles.

“No worries; my house always had more than ten people in it at a time,” Erin reassures. “Lunches discussing Thomas Paine’s latest blog post…”

Angelica nods knowingly, continuing the list. “Dinners talking about the revolution…”

The two share a knowing look, and Erin can’t help but smile. It would be nice to have someone who understands what it was like to be the offspring of an influential man; as well as the pressure that brings.

“So, your Dad really was the founder of this place, huh?” Angelica asks, as if she doesn’t already know.

Erin sees it as a courtesy, and answers her. “Yeah, well, he always thought it was too late for his generation to fix what the Monarchy broke, so why not give young minds a place to do so?”

“Is that why you’re here?”

She doesn’t even need to think about it; it was what Erin has been working towards all her life, a chance to show her true potential. And what better way than to start a new nation?

“Yes.”

Erin turns to Angelica, noticing her small grin as she confirms her own stance.

“Me too.”

* * *

 It takes less than three weeks for Angelica to go from roommate to friend.

With Angelica, Erin finally finds someone whose ambitions match her own, someone who wants to change the world but doesn’t know how to yet. They help each other study, proofread the other’s essays; when night falls, and Angelica makes Erin take a break from studying, the two sit close on the couch, whispering about their pasts and giggling over childhood stories while also getting a bit weepy when thinking of the years gone by.

Unlike Angelica, Erin grew up an only child; but she feels she found a sister in Angelica. Embarrassingly enough, Erin drunkenly whispers this to the girl one night as Angelica tries to put her down in her bed; in her haze, Erin remembers seeing Angelica give a sincere smile and a quiet _“I love you too,_ ” before resting on her desk chair for the evening; wanting to make sure Erin didn’t choke on her own vomit for the night.

Angelica grew up with two sisters; two younger girls whom she talks about with pride. Erin finally meets Eliza and Peggy one afternoon after class and, like Angelica, she instantly clicks with the remaining Schuyler sisters.

It turns out Angelica wasn’t exaggerating and that Eliza _is_ an actual saint. She hugs Erin the instant she is introduced (Erin notices that she smells like freshly baked cookies) before chatting her up about the college; everything from if she is having a good time to her major in law. Each question is sincere, and Erin can tell that she is actually listening to her answers. 

As their friendship would grow, the two would end up confining more into each other through text messages and phone calls; Eliza sees Erin as one of the only people in her life to see her as ‘wise’ and not just ‘naive’ while Erin sees Eliza as having the sensitivity chip that Angelica, lovingly, can lack at some of her more crucial moments.

Peggy is younger than all of them, but has a dark sense of humor that Erin can match. Upon their first meeting, while Eliza asks Erin about her classes, Peggy asks if she has gotten laid yet; she earns a slap on the arm from each of her older sisters, but a laugh from Erin.

As they get to know each other more, Peggy turns into the little sister Erin always wished she had; a girl to keep things light, but to be there when times were rough. Although Peggy is never one to hide things from Eliza or Angelica, it is Erin she calls when she needs help figuring out the “best morning after pill to get”; after a quick lecture, and an unspoken promise to not tell her sisters, Erin helps her and treats Peggy to lunch.

Erin ends up going home with Angelica for the Holidays only to find that her parents are just as amazing as she had described. Catherine instantly makes her feel at home with her own guest room and space while Philip talks to her as if they had known one another for years.  

It is on one of their Friday Movie Nights in the dorm (Erin’s sitting on the floor, her back to the couch as Eliza absentmindedly braids her hair, Peggy’s head is on Erin’s thigh in a position only she describes as _“comfortable as fuck”_ and Angelica’s feet resting on Eliza’s lap) when Erin realizes that Princeton may have given her a roof over her head, but the Schuyler sisters’ have given her a home.

* * *

 It’s on a Friday night when Erin meets him.

Hannah convinces Erin, and practically seduces Angelica, to join her on a bar hopping journey around the city ( _like old times_ , she whines). The trio did use to go to the New York bar scene a lot, but that was before Erin was so close to graduating early and entering law school in record time; she was already on top of the senior class she isn’t even apart of yet. The Revolution acts as a surprise motivator for Erin; in the beginning of her sophomore year, the colonies officially declared independence and begin a war with England, and Erin doesn’t want to miss a second of it.

However, she may if Hannah keeps them out passed the curfew Angelica set.

“This is our last stop, Cowley.” Erin announces as they get out of the cab, slightly wobbling in her boots.

She can feel the affect of alcohol, but isn’t as plastered as she used to get during her first few outings with the pair; she learned the hard way to not try to beat Hannah at her own game of drinking.

Hannah grins, her hand intertwined with Angelica’s. “You said that two stops ago; try again.”

“Erin’s right,” Angelica agrees. “We have papers to write; not all of us are drama majors that can half-ass everything.”

The comment holds a teasing tone, which Hannah mirrors as well as a squeeze of the hand. “Alright, _Gender Studies_ major. Give me a break.”

“Well, law major over here would like to get into Litchfield before she's thirty.” Erin gestures to herself, “Two drinks, then I’m out.”

Hannah shakes her head, challenging the statement. “Rounds.”

“Drinks.” Both Erin and Angelica say in unison.

Cowley rolls her eyes, obviously not believing the two, as she opens the door to the hole-in-the-wall establishment. Erin takes in her surroundings; it’s obviously a college bar, a majority of the patrons wearing King's College merchandise, with pictures of a few of the local college teams as well as a few well known students. It’s packed, seemingly all the tables are full until one group gets up; Erin can’t stop herself from laughing as she watches Hannah practically pole vault over to the table. Angelica shakes her head, and Erin nudges her.

“Think she’ll get lucky tonight?” Her tone drips with jokes.

Angelica smirks. “Let’s see how many drinks I get first.”

The pair join Hannah at the table, making conversation in an attempt to burn the alcohol that’s already inside of them before filling up once more. Erin can’t help but smile as she watches the tender way Hannah touches Angelica, as if she’s going to break. They may joke about Hannah having too much of a “fuck it” attitude, but Erin likes how she is the only person who can get Angelica to chill out; to remind her that college is supposed to be a fun time too (at least for a Schuyler it can be fun, Erin still has a lot to do).

Noticing how the two may want a private moment, Erin volunteers to pay for the first drinks, knowing what they like (whiskey sours for the couple, and a vodka cranberry for herself). Being a pretty girl has its advantages, because Erin instantly gets to the front of the bartender and places her order; while she waits, she catches a short snippet of an interview from Charles Lee, the man giving his reaction to his new title as General. Erin cranes her neck, hoping to at least read the subtitles.

“You’re not missing much.”

Erin stops herself from groaning at the sound of a male voice behind her. God, they were like vultures.

“Oh, I know.” Erin doesn’t gaze away from the television, hoping he’d get the message. “I was just hoping to see Lee make a fool of himself.”

The male voice chuckles. “Not a fan?”

“He just seems like a coward,” Erin continues, her eyes still on high. “Rumor has it Washington picked him because Congress threatened to stop funding otherwise.”

From the corner of her eyes, she can see the male lean on the bar space next to her, obviously trying to get her attention. Erin knows better; she’s had plenty of one-night stands in the past, but tonight, she just wanted to get home and get back to work. She wishes she stayed with Eliza in her dorm (the freshman studying for an education exam) or at least forced her to come out with them just so she would have a shield.   

“I can go ahead and confirm both of those facts for you.”

Erin scoffs (he’s trying way too hard), but can’t hide her curiosity. “Sources?”

“I work with him.”

The program goes to commercial and Erin takes that time to look at the man next to her. His golden skin is a stark contrast from his black hair, long enough to be pulled back into a ponytail. His knowing grin and dark eyes are one’s she can obviously lost in, but she’s not looking at him, her eyes are on the leather jacket that all the soldiers wear when they are off duty (to get some action).

Erin doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her impressed, so, she simply grins.

“How many times has that worked for you?”

“Usually not as slow, but you were very enthralled with Lee’s dumb face.” He notices how she hides her giggle through a tight smile, and makes it his mission to get her to laugh. “I hope he hasn’t ruined your evening the way he has ruined many of mine.”

Erin is smart enough to see what he is doing; he’s using her interest over the war to his advantage, teasing stories that she would love to hear. It’s a game to him, and Erin wants to prove to him that she can play it just as well.

“My evening was already tedious before he came along.” Erin throws it right back to him.

“Let me guess,” He grins, liking where this is going. “An evening of barhopping is not up to your satisfactions?” Erin simply hums, waiting for him to continue. “You strike me as a woman who’s never been satisfied.”

Erin hates the way that sentence makes it’s way down her spine, his low voice tingling her to her every core. Oh, he’s good; but she can’t let him know that.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Erin teases as she scans him.  “You seem to forget yourself.”

“You’re like me,” He puts his beer up to his lips. “I’m never satisfied.”

Erin can’t hide her grin; does he truly know what it’s like to be unsatisfied? Something tells her the man in front of her knows how it feels to never relax, to always want to work towards another goal, even if the last one completed is considered the “best yet”.

“Is that right?”

 “I’ve never been satisfied,” He offers his hand before introducing himself. “Alexander Hamilton.”

Erin does an awful job at hiding her shock; she was speaking to the General’s right hand man this entire time, and didn’t even know it. Perhaps the alcohol was having more of an effect on her than she realized (she feels the buzz of it when Alexander cockily grins, and she wants nothing more than to slap it off). She takes his hand before introducing herself as well.

“Erin Burr.”

Now, it was his turn to be impressed, though, Erin didn’t know what about. She hasn’t done anything as impressive as fight in a Revolution; not that she hasn’t tried to enlist, but they seemed to be excluding women from the fight (as if they didn’t want to fight for their freedom either).

“I heard your name at Princeton,” Alexander suddenly recalls, “You’re graduating soon, right?” She nods, suddenly feeling exposed. “I was trying to do what you were doing, I wanted to graduate in two before joining the Revolution, but...it didn’t work out.”

Erin can sense there’s a story there but decides not to embarrass him. She gets a sense that she’s seeing the true Hamilton; not the smooth talker, but a man who talks fast enough for the other to not get a word in.

“Issues with the bursar?” She asked, remembering his condescending expression when she went in to get her credits checked. When he nods, Erin giggles. “Yeah, he was a major asshole to me, still is.”

Alexander’s cool expression has faded, eyes bugging with interest. “So, how’d you do it?”

“It was my parents’ dying wish before they passed.” Erin admits before she can stop herself.

Yep, the alcohol was definitely kicking in now; that, and the fact that talking to Alexander made both her adrenaline, and blood pressure, go up. She wonders if she just walks away if he will follow, her embarrassment making her want to die in a hole in favor of avoiding the pitiful stare she receives from everyone after mentioning her parents, but instead she notices his own expression mirroring one of...excitement?

“You’re an orphan, of course,” He mumbles before pointing to himself. “I’m an orphan!”

Erin notices the patrons around them take a break from their own conversations to give the pair a look (it wasn’t often you heard the phrase “ _I’m an orphan!”_ spoken with such glee). Erin bites her lip as she listens to his rambles, and thinks of the only way she can get them to stop; she places a hand on his own waving one.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

He stops mid sentence, grinning. “That would be nice.”   

Erin locks eyes with the bartender, mouthing ‘one beer’ before turning back to Alexander.

“While we’re talking, let me offer you some advice?” He nods, waiting as she recites what she had heard her father say to a colleague. “Talk less, smile more; people tend to listen more when they see you listening to them.”

From the look in his eyes, Erin can tell Alexander thinks the advice is complete bullshit; but saying so would hinder his chances of getting laid, so, he simply nods. Erin though the advice was moot as well, until it helped her get into the college of her dreams as well as get her on the fast track to graduation. The drinks finally come, Erin taking her own and one of the sours while Alexander quickly takes his and Hannah’s.

“So, who am I playing waiter for?” He asks, back to his casual tone.

Erin grins and motions for him to follow her. The two weave in and out of the crowd until they’re back at Erin’s table; where Angelica and Hannah were currently making out, again. She sighs; they've come a long way since Erin had walked in on them, but now she fears that she is growing too used to intruding on their romantic moments. Erin glances over at Alexander, daring him to say something inappropriate, but is surprised (and pleased) when his expression doesn’t waver; instead, he simply nods knowingly.

“Third-wheeling?”

Erin sighs. “Always.”

He chuckles as Erin practically slams the drinks on the table, making the couple separate in a flourish; that always works. Angelica looks like she’s about to yell, but stops herself when she notices the new face; she grins.

“Well, now I see why my drink took so long.”

Erin shoots her a look that screams ‘behave’ while Alexander grins. “I didn’t mean to keep her,”

“No, please!” Hannah slurs, her drinks finally kicking in. “She hasn’t had a good lay since midterms.”

Erin feels her face heat up while Angelica kicks her drunk partner, Hannah doesn’t even notice as she continues to down her alcohol. She glances over at Alexander, who seems amused by the whole thing; hopefully, that was a good thing.

“Poor thing, she’s delirious.” Angelica reassures.

Alexander waves it off. “Nah, I’m used to it; you guys would fit right in with my group.” He hints as he gestures to a table of soldiers, all yelling and toasting to the war every few minutes.

“Well, let’s head over, then!” Hannah grins, already standing up.

“No, no.” Erin shakes her head, seeing her early night disappear right before her eyes as she turns to Alexander. “We wouldn’t want to intrude--.”

“Please?” He interrupts, puppy-dog eyes and all.

And, just like that, Erin’s hooked.

* * *

 Alexander wasn’t lying when he said Hannah and Angelica would fit right in.

While Hannah is practically yelling with Hercules Mulligan and John Laurens about the “fucking British”, Angelica and Lafayette were having an in depth discussion about the incoming French Revolution that has been brewing ever since the Colonies have made their voices heard.   

Meanwhile, Alexander and Erin were having their own conversation; the more alcohol they ingest, the closer their heads seemed to tip towards one another. Erin speaks about her personal life the most she has in years, telling him about her father’s trips to Princeton and her mother’s work as a journalist. Alexander’s past seemed to have stopped at _“I’m an orphan”_ (she doesn’t pry, selfishly enough, Erin can’t handle a tragic backstory tonight).

Instead, he tells her stories about his missions during the war. Even though he stresses that it has “barely begun”, Erin can’t hide her interest; he smiles wider with every question she asks, questions he has never heard before. It’s after Erin finishes her tirade about how congress needs to provide more aid to the troops when she feels his hand on her tight-covered knee, gentle but teasing as he moves it upward.

“You want to get out of here?”

Getting laid wasn’t part of Erin's plan for the evening, but neither was meeting Alexander Hamilton.

“Sure.”

Alexander smiles as he stands up, holding onto Erin’s purse as she stands up herself. Knowing that Hannah would make a scene watching her leave with a man, Erin looks over to Angelica in a silent way to tell her she was leaving; the woman discreetly holding up her drink in an act of ‘cheers’ with a knowing smile on her face. Erin can’t help it, and sticks her tongue out at the Schuyler before walking out of the bar, Alexander’s hand at the base of her back.

The February chill hits Erin the moment she steps outside, but she doesn’t have time to put her coat on when Alexander kisses her, gently backing her up until her back is resting on the wall of the bar.

All thoughts of the cold, Hannah’s teasing, her damn paper, are gone as Erin focuses all of her energy on kissing him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. He grins into the lip lock, and tries to best her by placing his own hands on her waist, rubbing before moving her closer to him. Erin beats that as she grinds her hips against his, the movement making him need to catch a breath. Alexander immediately gets to work on hailing a cab, suddenly unable to wait another moment.

She grins, liking the idea that everything is a competition with him; especially when she wins.

“Where to?” The driver asks as they get in.

“Yours,” Erin looks over at Alexander. “Unless you want a drive across the Hudson?”

Neither of them can wait that long as Alexander gives the driver instructions to his camp.

* * *

 Erin has been with a handful of guys since her time at Princeton (some more than once) and, although each had their skills, Alexander Hamilton was on a whole other level. From the moment he laid her down on the bed in his campsite dorm, the soldier knew exactly what to do (and, not to toot her own horn, from his own moans and groans, Erin had a feeling she was doing everything right as well).

“You’re right.” He speaks up in the dark room as he absentmindedly runs his knuckles up and down her spine.

“Always am,” Erin jokes as rests her chin on his chest, looking up at him. “About what, specifically?”

“Talking is overrated.”

Erin gives him one last kiss before the two fall asleep in a heap of entangled limbs.

* * *

 Erin’s late night meets up with Alexander come to an end two months later when the Patriots are moved to Pennsylvania.

They keep correspondence through emails (which usually consists of the two arguing and ranting about certain political stances) as well as texting (which is where, as Hannah would say, the “good stuff” happens). Erin finds herself in the rare emotion of loathing Alexander; he’s smart (and knows it), but clearly doesn’t think before he speaks, which Erin has always been taught as to being dangerous. She notices that Alexander gets annoyed by the way she second guesses herself, how he wishes that she could just dive into what she wants (he doesn’t understand).

It doesn’t take long for life to get in the way for both of them, and soon the only way she hears or sees Alexander is when he’s on the television, standing behind Washington while the General gives a speech. She doesn’t mind, telling Angelica that he was a “good lay” while it lasted, but Erin had bigger fish to fry.

Unbeknownst to Erin, Angelica steals Alexander’s email address and sends him a picture of Erin on her Graduation day, arms wrapped around Angelica and Hannah with Peggy photobombing behind; she can still hear Eliza’s laughter as she took the picture when she presses ‘send’.

He never responds.


	3. And My Heart Went Boom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin Burr has never been late to anything in her life, and she wasn’t about to start today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been gone for awhile, I went on vacation!
> 
> Things will start picking up in the story soon enough, thanks for reading!

Erin moves to Connecticut in the summer to begin her studies at Litchfield Law School (the Schuyler's try to convince her to take a “much needed break”, but Erin has a schedule to keep). This time, she has a lot more than two duffel bags, and requires the help of the Schuyler sisters to get all her belongings into her new apartment (the apartment Philip Schuyler had gifted to her, much to Erin’s dismay).

It’s not that she doesn’t appreciate the Senator’s help, but Erin doesn’t know how to feel about receiving handouts from a man she had only met a year ago. She voices this concern to Eliza the night after step one of the move, and the middle child gives her an answer that stays with Erin for the rest of her life.

_“That’s what families do for one another.”_

Erin cries harder than she thought she would the next day when it’s time to say goodbye to the three girls. Angelica weeps about how she’ll miss her rooming with a sister while Eliza can’t control her tears. Even Peggy, who teases that “we’ll see you every chance we get,”, does an awful job at hiding her true emotions. After they leave, Erin goes back up to the apartment. She smiles, realizing that even though she’s physically alone, she doesn’t feel lonely knowing she has a family a couple of trains away.

* * *

 

She begins her studies at the end of June due to the fear that she may not get her degree in time.

The war was becoming messy; congress has scattered, leaving the Revolutionaries with little to no supplies to get through the blistering heat. Erin’s assumptions about Charles Lee are proven correct when the General leads a full blown retreat from the Battle of Monmouth. Some colonists hope for a surrender, not wanting their sons and husbands to die due to Washington’s headstrong characteristics. Erin wants the war to end, but not with the British winning; they were so close to getting their own country, and Erin didn’t know if she could handle such a failure.

However, the political climate is the last thing on Erin’s mind as she makes her way to class one morning, juggling her textbooks in her arms as she runs through campus. After a night of skyping with Angelica, Erin slept through her alarm with only ten minutes to get ready if she wanted to get to class in time; thus her outfit of pajama pants, an oversized sweatshirt that one of her one-nighters never returned for, flip flops, and a top knot hairdo was born.

Erin Burr has never been late to anything in her life, and she wasn’t about to start today.

Her determination to get to class makes her blind as she bumps into a hard chest, the impact sending her belongings to the ground. She’s about to go down to when the obstacle reaches out to grab her, pulling on her sleeve to keep her steady.

“Jesus, are you alright?”

Erin waves him off, more interested in collecting her stuff. “Yeah, yeah.”

“I didn’t even see you,” He goes on, apologetic. “Here, let me help…”

Erin wants to tell him that it’s fine, but realizes that she could use all the help she could get if she wanted to get to class before the Professor locked the door. Noticing her haste, the man quickly hands her the papers she needs. He can’t help but grin at her neurosis; she was obviously in a hurry, yet took the time to make sure everything was in its proper order before closing her binder. Noticing that the stranger had stopped handing her things, and yet was still crouched in front of her, Erin narrows her eyes at his grinning expression.

“I’m glad that my tardiness is amusing to you,” She can’t help but snap as she stands up, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. “I’m going to get locked out.”

He shakes his head, mirroring her movement as he hands her one of the books. “Who’s your Professor?”

Erin purses her lips, her eyes on the clock tower. “Churnow.”

“Look, I’ve had him before. The ‘locking the door’ thing? A major bluff to get his students in class earlier.” He reassures, his grin smaller but still blinding to Erin. “Good luck to you.”

With that, the stranger offers Erin a reassuring pat on the shoulder before going his way (Erin notices that the young man walks with a limp). Despite his advice, Erin still jogs to class, nearly tripping into the building where it’s held.

The stranger turns out to be telling the truth.

* * *

 

Erin doesn’t see the Stranger again, and her thoughts of him faded with each passing day; why would she think about him? It was one of the shortest encounters Erin had ever had with another human being in her life; she never thought about how hard his chest was, or why he walked away with a limp meant for men twice his age.

Nope, never thought about it.

Until the Winter Ball. The Ball was being thrown by Philip Schuyler himself as a way to support the troops (and to give them a well-deserved night off). She didn’t even want to go in the first place (it was December and Erin had a handful of midterms to study for) but, after Eliza hit her with her signature ‘puppy dog eyes’, it was impossible to refuse. So, after picking out a champagne-colored gown, Erin takes a furry into the City and meets up with her family.

The Schuyler Winter Mansion holds a lot of memories for Erin, more than some would think for a girl who had only meant them a few years ago. Ever since befriending the sisters, Erin has spent many winter breaks at the abode to celebrate the holidays; if the cold season came particularly early, they would end up there for Thanksgiving as well. She recalls the warm feeling the holiday dinners would bring her; the late night whispers and snickering that would happen when the girls would gossip, laughing as Catherine retold stories of holidays passed , waking up Christmas morning and exchanging gifts with meals that always made Erin feel one hundred pounds heavier. It all reminded Erin about what it meant to be part of a family; a feeling she lost after her Father died.

Usually, for the holidays, the house would be decorated mutely; stockings on the fireplace (Erin almost cried when she saw her name embroidered on a purple sock), garland on the staircase with a tree in the corner. It felt more like a house than the mansion it truly was. However, stepping into the home for the Ball, the word “quaint” was the last on her mind. The over-sized foyer was the center of the party; attendees dancing in the middle of the tile floor while others sat at tables around the activity, drinking and laughing while young woman schmoozed with drunken soldiers. The lighting was low, candles decorating the room to portray ambiance while traditional twinkle lights provided the seasonal feel the festivities was based upon.

It was the first time Erin felt out of place at a Schuyler event.

“Finally, you’re here!” Peggy rushed over, gold dress shimmering. “I need help.”

Erin did her best to hide her grin. “What’d you do now?”

Peggy feigned an expression of offense. “Why do you always assume it's me?”

Erin raised a brow, her mind racing with different images of Peggy burning the turkey, or causing a fight between Aunt Renee and Uncle Jeremiah when asking about their marriage counseling, or the time she almost burned down the tree after putting ten different strands of lights on it. As if reading Erin’s mind, Peggy sighed.

“Okay, alright, it is usually me,” She admitted and Erin gave her shoulder a small squeeze. “But, this time, it’s the newlyweds that need your aid.”

Erin’s eyes went wide. “Where are they?”

Erin follows Peggy’s thumb to see Angelica and Hannah talking to one of Philip’s colleagues; she could see the diamonds around their wedding bands from her spot. It was a surprise to everyone when Angelica and Hannah came back from their “weekend getaway” in Vermont married, the two eloping one night (“it just happened,” Angelica explained herself on Erin’s couch). Erin wasn’t too upset with Angelica, the woman was never one to make a fuss about her personal life (and Hannah was down for anything). Eliza frowned, her traditionalist view overtaking her mind (she wanted to be a maid of honor, dammit), but got over it quickly. Peggy just wanted a bachelorette party.

Her parents were furious; they wanted to see their daughter get married, especially to the partner they loved so much. Erin figured this party was a way for the couple to make amends, to feel like a reception for her parents; she could tell by the tight smile on Angelica’s face that she was being suffocated by the couple in front of her. No wonder why Peggy said they needed saving.

“Watch and learn.” Erin joked, grabbing two champagne flutes from a passing tray.

Peggy grinned as she followed Erin to the couple, the girl appearing behind them as she held the glasses out to them. “Angie, Hannah!” Erin called, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you; how long has it been?”

Hannah’s confusion was evident (they had just seen one another a week ago) while Peggy simply raised a brow. However, as always, Angelica caught on with grace. She feigned an expression of shock.

“Ms. Burr, long time no see!” She accepted the glasses, handing one to Hannah. She then addressed the couple. “Floyd, Martha, this is my old college buddy Erin Burr.”

“Lovely to meet you,” Floyd nodded, Erin smiling as they shook hands. “We’ll let you catch up then!”

Once the couple was a safe distance away, Erin simulated blowing her nails in an expression of “too easy”. It was a tactic as old as parties themselves; if someone was boring you, or creeping you out, have a friend rush in and feign a dramatic reunion (Erin and Angelica constantly used the plan at college parties and events).

“You two are insane.” Hannah rolled her eyes but held up her flute. “But I thank you for your patronage.”

Erin grinned. “Anything for the newlyweds,” She then glanced around. “How bad has it been?”

“I’ve never been around so many people I don’t know, yet seem to know me, in my life.” Angelica closes her eyes in annoyance. “But, it reminded me why I didn’t want a wedding.”

Hannah gives Angelica a kiss on the temple, the gesture making the girl instantly relax. Erin noticed how much more affectionate the two were now that they were married; it was sweet. Yet, from Peggy’s feigned gag, she had a feeling she was the only one that felt such a way. Angelica shot her younger sister a look, which Peggy responded with a “hands up” surrender gesture.

“Hey, I’m just bitter that I’m here alone.” Peggy admits, her tone joking.

Erin offered a joking nudge. “Not planning on going home alone tonight, I see.”

“Only if better looking people show up,” She responds, her eyes scanning the party. Peggy’s gaze lingers on a group in the corner. “They look promising, though.”

Erin can’t stop herself from following Peggy’s gaze (hey, she wants some fun, too) but nearly chokes on her drink when she sees who it is. Alexander Hamilton, along with his friends from the Bar, are practically floating around the party (tipsy); talking loud enough to earn a look from Philip’s more rowdy colleagues. They look the same as they did a year ago, if not a bit more tired and are now wearing their dress uniforms as a sign of respect.

Erin subconsciously bites her bottom lip; Alexander knew how to treat her right (he was still one of her best lays in a long time), but the two differed on so many stances that they couldn’t have a conversation without it turning into a fight (granted, it would end in angry sex, but that got exhaustion real quick).

She considers walking away and going to the farthest wall of the party; she doesn’t exactly have the patience for Alex’s smugness tonight. Instead, she watches as Peggy makes her way towards Eliza, and decided to follow the path as well. However, before she can take a step, Angelica puts her arm in front of Erin’s form, stopping her from making a move. “No.” Erin instantly states. Angelica gives her a disapproving look.

“If you don’t say ‘hi’, it’ll be weird.”

“He’s the one who made it weird.” She childishly replies.

Alright, so maybe she doesn’t want to see Alex for more reasons than just his attitude.

Erin couldn’t deny that she was hurt by his sudden radio silence (Erin understands that the phone does work both ways, but come on). Even if they weren’t in a relationship, they were something; something that ended just as quickly as it began.

“She's not telling you to sleep with him.” Hannah swallowed her alcohol. “Though, I wouldn’t be against it.”

Both Erin and Angelica shot her a look of warning.

Hannah shrugged. “What? He’s cute.”

“Come on,” Angelica looped her arm around Erin’s. “I’ll help you break the ice while Hannah chats up Uncle Phil.”

Hannah’s eyes widened. “Wait, no, I--.” She was cut off as a large man came into view, smiling. “Uncle Phil, hello!”

Erin and Angelica share a knowing laugh, both aware of Phil’s ability to ramble on and on about topics that were labelled meaningless; that’s what Hannah gets for being so sassy. She takes a deep breath as they get closer to the men, Alex now only accompanied by Laurens while the rest of his posse hoarded around the bar, however, it isn’t until their gazes meet when Erin feels her breath catch in her throat.

She forgot how mesmerizing his eyes were, how she saw them as two dark windows into an extraordinary mind; now, they were highlighted by the dark circles beneath them, deeper than when she met him. As they get closer, Erin finds herself mirroring the smile on Alexander’s face; his look of genuine happiness over seeing her echoing into Erin’s own soul.

“Well, if it isn’t Erin Burr.” He greets, talking over Laurens’ and completely disregarding Angelica’s presence.

 _Yep_ , Erin thinks to herself, _still a bit of a dick_.

“Glad to see you’re still alive, Hamilton.”

Before Erin can even register the movement, Alexander has her wrapped in a hug. Erin is sure the hand lingering on her hip is a figment of her imagination until they part and see Angelica practically screaming behind her glass. Alexander finally removes his gaze from Erin’s to greet Angelica, and to ask about the “beautiful” ring on her finger. Erin is half listening (she heard the story too many times) when Peggy comes rushing up to her, the younger girl whispering into her ear.

“Eliza has been staring at him since he walked in.”

Erin looks over at Eliza, the girl finally out of the grasp of relatives and sitting at a table a far distance away. She can’t help but smile at Eliza’s blatant gawking at Alexander; the girl was clearly smitten, but in a way Erin has never seen before. Usually, if Eliza saw a cute enough guy, she would comment on him and move on, however, she was looking at Alexander as if he was the only source of water in the desert.

“Wingwoman time?” Erin whispers back, Alexander still talking to Angelica.

Another fact about Eliza is that she can be incredibly shy. With an older sister like Angelica, who can take over the room with a flick of the wrist, there was truly no reason for Eliza to draw attention to herself. Erin has both witnessed Angelica bringing over a guy to her or has even done the deed herself. Peggy grinned before taking off.

“I’ll see you over there.”

The conversation shifted to one that heavily featured Angelica and Laurens, Alex clearly pretending to listen, Erin decided to take the opportunity to steer him away.

“Alexander,” Erin lightly calls, making the man’s head practically snap to look at her. “Follow me.”

She offers her arm, and Alexander looks all but too giddy to take it. As they walk away, Erin shoots a look over her shoulder to see Angelica giving her a knowing look (Erin simply smirks, knowing that the sister truly didn’t know anything).

“Where are you taking me?” Alex asked, his tone teasing.

Erin couldn’t hide her grin. “I’m about to change your life.”

His eyes lit up with excitement, and a touch of mischief; it didn’t require a scientist to know where his (and Angelica’s) thoughts were. Honestly, Erin wouldn’t mind sneaking away with the Patriot for one last round, ( _like old times_ , Alex would most likely whisper into her neck, smug as Erin bit down on her fist to stop herself from moaning--now wasn’t the time for that).

“Then, by all means, lead the way.”

His words brought her back to reality; a reality in which Erin was introducing Alexander to Eliza, a reality where they would become a couple (because Eliza is perfect) and they would, most likely, get married (because Alex knows he’s out of her league). Erin swallows a laugh at Eliza’s dumbstruck expression; as if she didn’t believe Peggy would tell her about her wandering eye. Eliza should know by now that Erin would do anything to make her happy, to keep her happy, because that’s what she deserves.

Eliza deserves the world, and Erin hoped Alexander would give it to her.

Peggy pulls Eliza to her feet before sitting herself back down, pretending to be engrossed in the conversation around her and not totally listening to the interaction about to happen. Erin stops walking once they get to her, smiling as Eliza steps forward.

“Elizabeth Schuyler.” Eliza extends a hand, instantly earning Alexander’s attention. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Erin untangles her arm away from Alexander’s, stepping backwards as Alex takes Eliza’s hand in his own. He then offers a backward glance to Angelica, connecting the dots.

“Schuyler?” He asks.

Erin nods. “Angelica’s biological sister,” She then offers a shrug, “And my soul one.”

Eliza shakes her head. “Please, you’re a Schuyler now.”

The two woman share a smile, but Alexander’s eyes are only on Eliza. Erin quickly realizes she’s old news.

“Thank you for all your service.” Eliza says sincerely.

“If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it.”

Erin fights back a laugh as Alex kisses Eliza’s hand, as if he was an actor in a community Shakespearean play. However, much to Erin’s surprise, the tactic works as Eliza lets out a giggle, the sound making Alex only smile wider (he seems just as surprised that it worked).

Erin smiles widely, nodding at the two. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Erin watches as the two take a seat at the table, Peggy quickly vacating it in favor of joining Hannah by the bar. As Erin walks to her own table, she can’t help but wonder if she made the right choice; she recalls how much of a smooth talker Alex was when they met, the words of a man who obviously messed around, would be stop his ways for Eliza?

She remembers the rough way Alex would get in bed (especially after a heated argument) would Eliza be able to handle it? Erin shakes her head, realizing that she is underestimating the girl who has been underestimated all her life by other people. The whole reason why they became sisters was due to the fact that Erin saw so much more than others did. Eliza would be able to handle Alexander, if anything, she would be the one to break his heart.

“Um, did I miss something?” Angelica asks as she sits next to Erin, her eyes on Alex and Eliza.

Erin shrugs. “I think our little Eliza is in love.”

Erin knows she doesn’t have to explain her actions to Angelica, the sister has taken multiple sacrifices for Eliza herself. Instead, she simply wraps an arm around Erin’s shoulders, pulling her close.

“You’re a good sister.”

She doesn’t respond, but only takes a long drink, hoping that she didn't just sign sweet Eliza up for heartbreak.

* * *

Just as Erin predicted, Eliza and Alex begin a relationship.

Since the war is still in full swing, it is somewhat long distance; the pair exchanging emails and phone calls every night, and seeing each other on the weekends. Angelica asks Erin when she is going to tell Eliza about her time with Alex; she doesn’t know. Clearly, Alex hasn’t told the girl yet (and probably isn’t planning to). Erin decides that she won’t say a word either; knowing Eliza, if Erin told her, she would instantly break it off with him and offer Erin his companionship as a prize. She couldn’t do that to her, not when Erin hasn’t seen Eliza as happy as she is when she just speaks about the man.

Those two were it, and Erin was okay with that.

Besides, Erin had no time to think about romance; not when law school was kicking her ass. The workload was becoming heavier, Erin spending her days either locked in her apartment or the library studying; today, it’s a coffee shop a few blocks away from campus, the girl wanting a change of scenery to study for her midterm in the evening. She can feel herself fading (sleep hasn’t been easy to get, and coffee's effects were wearing off) when a new mug is set before her.

“I didn’t order this.” She responds, not even looking up from her words.

“Well, I did just buy it for you, so…”

That voice. Erin recognizes it, but can hardly believe who it is until she looks up from her book to see the same man whom she bumped into on the way to class one afternoon; the Stranger. Erin finally gets a good look at him; his black hair is minimal, clearly growing back after being shaved, and his chocolate eyes shine with delight. His dark skin is perfectly smooth, and leaves Erin breathless in a way no one has before.

Yep, very good looking.

“You’re the Chernow expert.” Erin points out, thinking that’ll be kinder than saying _“you’re the Stranger!”_

He simply grins. “And you’re the klutz; I barely recognized you without the pajama pants.”

Clearly, he doesn’t harbor the same concern Erin has for being polite.

“Thanks for that,” Erin teases, and he simply mock bows. “But, usually, I go by Erin.”

“Erin,” He repeats, her name sounding musical on his tongue. He extends a hand. “Theodore Bartow.”

Erin takes his awaiting hand, giving it a shake. Theodore Bartow; for some reason, the name sounds familiar to Erin, but she can’t place it. She knows she never seen him before that day on campus; Erin would remember his face; anyone would remember the distinct face before her. The two realize that they have been shaking hands for a moment too long, both sheepishly retracting their hands.

“Well, uh.” Theodore rubs the back of his neck, losing confidence. “I’ll leave you to your studies; I just thought you needed some coffee.”

Erin smiles at his small wave of goodbye, watching as he makes his way to the door. If it was anyone else, she would let him go and focus back on the book in her hands, but something in her mind tells her to speak up. A voice that sounds a lot like Angelica’s.

“Hey, Theodore,” She calls, the man quickly walking back to her. “Do you want to sit down for a bit? It’s the least I can do for the pick-me-up you gave me.”

Theodore smiles, and it’s the most stunning sight Erin has ever seen. “It’ll be an honor.”

He takes a seat, and the two talk until Erin has to leave for her evening class.

 

 

 


	4. Willing to Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life was good, until it wasn't.

Erin sees Theodore more times than she cares to admit. 

The two somehow end up spending all their free time together; either eating a meal, studying for a class, or simply laying on the library lawn to talk about everything and anything. Theodore was only two years older than Erin, but had already lived a life most grown men would be jealous of; with a job at the New York Times, he went to the front lines of the war to document what was happening, earning the limp after getting hit by stray enemy fire.

After being sent home, he decided to work towards a law degree ( _ I don't know if I even want to be a lawyer _ , he told Erin one day,  _ but it's always fun to try new things _ ). His optimism was infectious.  

She tells him about her parents, the early life that now feels like a lifetime ago. His eyes never waver from hers as she explains her life, and Erin can't help but notice how genuinely interested he is in her life; in  _ all _ the words that come out of her mouth. 

It's new to her; besides the Schuyler's, no one has ever listened to Erin's life, and thoughts, just for the sake of doing so. (Erin decides that Alex doesn't count because he only listened to prove her wrong or to add his own thoughts). He also remembers everything she has ever said to him, sometimes even blurting out facts about her or sending her pictures of something during the days they don't see one another with the message  _ made me think of you _ .

"How do you remember everything I say?" Erin asks him one night as they lounge on his couch, a forgotten movie playing on the T.V. in front of them.

Theodore turns to face her, giving her a look that screams  _ why wouldn't I? _ '. "Because I want to know everything about you."

They kiss for the first time that night.

* * *

Erin takes her time with Theodore, not wanting to rush into anything.

She doesn't want to mess this one up; for once, she found someone who truly cares about her, and Erin didn't want to let that go. Luckily, it seems that Theodore shares the same sentiment; taking her out on the weekends as well as getting her to take a break from studying on the weekdays.

The Schuyler family all wonder when they would be able to meet the man Erin always seemed to be with, Angelica and Peggy a bit more vocal in their wonder ( _ does he even exist? _   Peggy teases one night). As always, it’s Eliza who’s the most understanding of the bunch; although she herself was too eager to introduce Alex to her parents, sisters, and really  anyone  she sees on a daily basis, Eliza knows that Erin would bring Theodore to them when she was ready.

“This one’s different, huh.” Eliza asks over the phone, smile evident on her lips.

Erin grinned. “He is. He really is.”

“Take all the time you need.”

 And Erin does. They sleep together after four months of dating.

"I'm so glad I met you." She whispers from underneath him.

He grins. "I'm so glad I met you too."

Theodore touches her so gently that night, Erin almost cries.

* * *

 

Erin’s life was amazing, the one she always envisioned herself having..

She was thriving in her courses; her first year as a law student winding down and leaving her at the  top of her class ( _ so far _ , Erin didn’t want to jinx herself) and with an internship with one of New York’s biggest law firms. Granted, it was quite a commute, but Erin couldn’t let the opportunity pass; not when the firm practically begged her to join them thanks to her marks.

Plus, the commute allowed her time to see Angelica and Hannah; the couple living in a loft that was close enough to Angelica’s graduate courses as well as the theater in which rehearsals for Hannah’s play were commencing. Whenever Erin had a particularly grueling afternoon at the Office, and wasn’t stable enough to ride multiple trains home, the married couple offered their spare bedroom up for grabs; she used it more times than Erin would care to admit.

It was on one of these nights when Eliza came bursting into the apartment, a diamond ring on her left hand. Alex had proposed to her the evening prior; the two taking their relationship to the next level in a speed none of the sisters had seen Eliza exhibit before. It made sense to Erin; the war was still raging on and no one knew what tomorrow would bring.

When Erin went to the kitchen to grab more drinks, Angelica quickly followed, the eldest instantly asking about her “mindset” on the engagement.

“I think it’s great,” Erin whispered, despite the kitchen and living room being separated by a door. “They’re both perfect for one another, and I’ve never seen Eliza so happy.”

Angelica pursed her lips, her eyes full of concern. “So, there’s no...lingering feelings?”

Erin paused. She hadn’t given much thought about Alex, or their time “together”, since the Winter Ball; and, even then, Erin was mainly thinking about how he would treat Eliza if they would start a relationship (the answer: like a gentlemen). She used to harbor a feeling of lust towards the man, but that was before she had sex with Theodore (he was a bit more gentle than Alex, but god, when he got into it…) and hasn’t thought about another man since.

Come to think about it, the only time Alex had popped into Erin’s head was whenever he went too far in his blog posts. Dude needed to calm down.

“Not at all,” Erin honestly answered. “We were never even...anything, officially.”

“Having sex with someone three times a week is something 'official',” Angelica scoffed. “I still think you need to tell Eliza about him.”

Erin had thought about telling Eliza about her time with Alex, but quickly shut that idea down after seeing how happy the girl was with him. Erin knows Eliza; she knows that the moment Erin tells the middle Schuyler about her past with Alex, she would read too much into the nonexistent relationship and break things off with Alex. Eliza would give up her happiness for the sake of Erin’s, even though she did not harbor any form of romantic feelings for him.

“Yeah, I’ll just go out there and break her heart.” Erin sarcastically replied, and Angelica’s own expression fell. “Don’t make me do that, Angie. Not when all that the confession would do is ruin her life.”

A moment passed, and Angelica sighed; Erin could tell that Angelica hated the fact that she was right. They both knew Eliza was the “bleeding heart” of the family.

“Okay.” Was the only word Angelica said, before turning her attention to the wine glasses. “I’ll get these, grab a bottle.”

The pair left the kitchen, smiles on their faces as they continued to fawn over wedding plans.

* * *

Life got shaky a week later.

It all started when Erin met Peggy for lunch, the pair discussing everything from careers (Peggy was leaning towards something in the upcoming government) to personal life; which brought up Theodore.

Theodore. The couple was still going strong, comfortable with their lives together and supporting one another through the hardships as well as celebrating successes. Erin finally introduced him to the Schuylers, and was pleased to see that they all approved; even Angelica seemed to let go of her “Alexander and Erin” agenda after seeing the two so happy.

The couple made a habit of staying overnight at one another apartments (it depended on their schedules in choosing which apartment to stay at).

“Have you guys talked about moving in together?” Peggy asked after hearing about the sleeping arrangements.

Erin shook her head. “Not really, no.”

Peggy looked completely scandalized, her brown orbs wide with disbelief, and that’s when Erin realized it was weird. Sure, Erin thought about moving in with Theodore; having more than one drawer full of her stuff, and one drawer of his, but he never spoke about it. Were they so comfortable with their lives together that he wasn’t willing to take the next step?

“It’s a location issue,” Theodore had reassured her one night, Erin’s head on his chest. “We both have such different places to go, and in different cities, it’s just easier this way...for now.”

Erin accepted that answer, mainly because she didn't want to think about it. Life would get easier once she graduated law school and actually had an office to go to everyday that was, hopefully, close to the Times’ offices. Days, then weeks, passed since that exchange and Erin forgot about it; filling her days with work, helping Eliza find an apartment that she and Alex would move into after the wedding, and seeing Theodore.

Yep, life was good. Until it wasn’t.

Erin was lounging on Theodore’s bed, the man taking a shower while Erin passed the time waiting for her turn by studying a few cases. A phone buzzed on the nightstand, the woman not looking up from her notes as she answered the call.

“Erin Burr.”

“I’m sorry,” A woman responds, her tone confused and holding the inkling of a British accent. “Is Theodore Bartow there?”

Erin takes the phone away from her ear, and notices the black case that is a stark contrast from her purple one. She grabbed Theodore’s by accident.

“Sorry, no. He’s a bit busy right now.” Erin explained, keeping her tone professional in case it was a colleague of his. “I can have him call you back if you want to leave a message?”

“Oh, okay!” Her voice was bright, as if excited. “Just tell him his wife called.”

Time seemed to stop as Erin let those words settle into her brain. Somehow, she was able to give the woman (his _wife_ ) a convincing farewell before hanging up the phone, letting the small rectangle fall onto the tangled sheets (sheets they just had sex in, the sheets of a _married man_ ). Just as it always did when she was feeling…(Anger? Sadness? Nothing.), Erin felt her body shut down; unable to move as she stared at the wall across from the bed.

Theodore was married. Theodore was never hers. 

She didn’t know how much time passed when the bathroom door slid open, revealing Theodore with nothing but a towel hanging low on his hips. Erin didn’t look at him (she couldn’t) as he made his way to the dresser, discussing plans for the night.

“So, I was thinking, we can try that Bistro on 5th and maybe catch a movie?” Drawers opened, closed, opened. “You wanted to see that Documentary about…”

Theodore’s smile faded as he looked at Erin, noticing her silence. She was as pale as the sheets she sat in, her bottom lip slightly quivering as her eyes remained wide, yet unfocused. He had only seen such a look before on the front lines of the war, the memories instantly making panic flood his senses the man as he rushed to the end of the bed.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

Erin still wasn’t looking at him as she responded in a whisper. “You’re married.”

“Erin…” Theodore trailed off, reaching a hand towards her.

He sounded too calm for a man who had just been caught cheating, and that made Erin furious.

“You’re fucking married, fuck!” She yelled, pulling away from him before holding up an accusing finger in his direction. “How dare you.”

Erin quickly (ungracefully) rolled out of bed. She shouldn’t have been surprised; everything in her life was going so great, she was happy, of course it couldn’t last (it never did). She paced around the room, ignoring Theodore’s pleas for her to listen ( _ “Just listen to me,” _ .... _ ”..not what you think” _ ...) as she picked up her jeans and pulled them on. Theodore paused in his stammering.

“What are you doing?” He asked as she traded his shirt for her own, not even bothering to look for her bra.

“What do you think?” Erin walked towards the door, barely sparing him a glance. “I’m leaving.”

With a speed Erin had never seen from him before, Theodore blocked the way out of his bedroom. She could duck under him, but she didn’t want to. A small part of her (the sick part) wanted to stay, wanted Theodore to tell her that it was all a mistake, but there was no way it was.

“Please,” Theodore begged, eyes pleading. “Can we just relax and talk?”

The small part of her brain won.

Erin didn’t say a word, but sat back down at the end of the bed; Theodore went to sit next to her, but seeing the girl send him a chilling look, he decided to put his desk chair across from her.

“How long?”

Theodore sighed. “One year,” Erin shook her head in disgust. “But it’s really not what you think.”

“Oh good,” Erin's voice dripped with venom. “Because I think you’re a lying pig and I think I’m going to call your wife back and let her know exactly what you’ve been up to.”

“Don’t do that.” His eyes practically popped out of his head.

Erin crossed her arms over her chest. “Give me one good reason.”

“Because you’ll be putting the Colonies’ freedom at risk.”

Theodore definitely knew Erin well, because that piqued her interest and made her close her mouth (which was ready to spew other obscenities). She narrowed her eyes, taking in Theodore’s distress.

“What are you talking about?”

“Yes, in the eyes of the court, I am married to the woman you heard on the phone,” He pursed his lips. “But it’s so I can get information about the British and their plans; her father’s a British Commander.”

Erin’s heart was now in her throat. “I thought you were a reporter.”

“I am,” Theodore reassured. “When I was on the front lines, I told Washington about my connection and he decided to use it as an advantage. I couldn’t deny him.”

No one could deny George Washington. “Were you married before going on the front lines?”

“We were friends first, but I eloped with her after I spoke to Washington.” Theodore admitted before taking a breath. “I wanted to tell you, god did I want to spill my entire life story to you, but I was under oath and couldn’t risk botching the operation. I thought maybe we could wait until after the war was over, but I needed you. Erin, I love you so much, more than I thought I could love anyone. But...I understand if you want to leave, I understand if you can’t wait for me.”

Silence overtook the room as the pair looked at one another; one waiting for a response, while the other tried to find the right words to say.

It was obvious he was telling the truth; the story was too specific to be a lie, and it would explain why he clammed up with the move-in situation (he couldn’t botch the mission). Erin didn’t say it aloud, but she loved Theodore with her entire being; more than she loved any other man. He was it, they talked about being it; she understood that any other woman would walk right out the door, to tell him that he was sick for leading her (and another woman) on for so long. She glanced at the door, willing herself to leave; to do the right thing, like she was raised to do.

Erin stood up and moved towards Theodore, the man’s eyes never wavering from hers as she stood in front of him, looking down at him. He waited for any indication of how Erin felt, but didn’t press; she would say what she needed to be said when she was ready.

“I’m willing to wait for you.”

Theodore closes his eyes in relief, grabbing Erin’s hand and planting a kiss on her knuckles before hugging her middle. Erin instantly wrapped her one arms around his form, planting her forehead on top of his head as she allowed herself to breath him in, to remember his scent.

For once, Erin allowed herself to do what she wanted; and she was damn glad she did.

* * *

They don’t break up, but they start limiting their time together.

After admitting to his undercover mission with the revolutionaries, Theodore began to worry about Erin’s safety in the whole ordeal. Not only that, but Erin realized that even if he isn’t a true married man, he needed to act like one to get information.; now that she knew, he had more windows to go 'home' to London to spend time with the loyalists. They both needed to focus on achieving their goals before beginning their lives together.

They talked to one another each day; texting during the day, and phone calls at night (Erin discovers phone sex to be quite fulfilling and, luckily, so does Theodore). Erin keeps up appearances with the Schuylers, stating that Theodore was on an assignment (half truth) and that, between her school schedule and internship, she was seeing a significant cut in her personal life (not a lie at all). As always, the family supports her as long as she’s happy. As for Eliza, she supports her as long as Erin still makes time to act as Bridesmaid at her wedding.

“Is that even a question?” Erin nudges her.

She walks down the aisle with Lafayette on her arm, Eliza’s choice of a sky blue dress hanging off of her as she smiles at the guests. Erin finds herself wishing that Theodore was with her, watching from the pews; but, with Washington himself as a guest, the man had to keep up the appearance of being committed to his “wife”.

Erin finds herself wishing even harder for Theodore’s presence when she and Alex lock eyes just before the bride’s entrance.

* * *

“Alright, alright! That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” Erin quickly finishes her text to Theodore before turning her attention to John Laurens in the center of the dance floor. “Now, everyone give it up for the maid of honor, Angelica Schuyler!”

Angelica stands up to another round of cheers (Erin and Peggy whooping louder than needed) as she nods at the guests, drink already in hand. They listen as she tells stories of her youth with Eliza; conversations about who they would want to marry one day, and how Alex fit the bill.

“I know my sister like I know my own mind, and anyone here will tell you that you’ll never find anyone as trusting or as kind as Eliza,” Angelica reached the end of her, speech. Eliza blushing slightly as Alex smiled widely at his wife. “May you always be satisfied.”

Erin nearly drops her glass while Alexander’s smile becomes a bit more strained; she knew it was a mistake to tell Angelica about the full conversation with Alex in the bar.

“Oh, it’s just a bit of fun.” Angelica teased as she sat down at the table. “He deserves it.”

Hannah grinned. “I love my sadistic wife.”

Erin rolled her eyes, a ghost of a grin on her face. Granted, Alex was playing a bit dirty with Eliza by not telling her about their past; but then what was Erin doing? She was just as bad as him, yet looking at their happiness on the dance floor, Erin didn’t regret a thing about her decision to keep the past in the past.

However, she wasn’t pleased by Angelica’s meddling, knowing that she wouldn’t want someone doing such a thing on her big day. Erin felt she owed Alex an apology on Angelica’s behalf; so, as the reception began to wind down, Erin slipped away from the Bridesmaids’ circle and followed Alex (and his groomsmen) to the downstairs hotel bar.

Seeing the men having a moment, Erin considered heading back to the reception (she truly owed Alex nothing), but was foiled in her retreat when Alex caught a glimpse of her.

“Well, if it isn’t Erin Burr!” His smile was wide, drunken.

Too late now; it would be weird for Erin to leave and, even if she tried, Alex seemed drunk enough to practically pull her back towards the group. Taking a deep breath, Erin walked into the bar; much to Alex's joy. 

“What do we owe the pleasure?”

Erin was at a lost for words. She came to apologize, and yet she couldn’t get it out; wouldn’t acknowledging the issue make things worse? Besides, he seemed to be pretty in control (despite the drunkenness) and not bothered by Angelica’s words. So, instead, she grinned.

“I just wanted to say congratulations,” She gave him a pat on the shoulder. “I haven’t had a chance to say it personally.”

Alex practically glows at her words, and Erin wonders if he heard a “congrats” statement or if she accidentally told him that they had won the war.

“That means a lot, Burr.” He nods. “Can I get you a drink?”

Erin ignores the deja vu and accepts the offer. She tries not to think too much into Alex’s thanks, but finds herself wondering if Alex thought she was pining for him. The thought makes her angry; if anything, it looked as if he was still into her, how dare he--Erin stops herself, this is a day of celebration.

“A congratulations is in order for you too,” Alex notes as he passes Erin a beer. “Eliza told me that you have a job locked at the firm you’re in?”

Ah yes, one of the only advantages to come from Theodore’s absence. Erin picked up more hours in her internship, and William P. Van Ness (the leader of the firm) noticed both her drive and skill; so much so that he called her into his office and asked if she would want a “gig” after she graduated. Erin eagerly accepted, knowing this would be crucial step into getting her own firm.

“I just need to graduate first,” Erin feigned a shaky sigh. “How hard could that be?”

“Please,” Alex scoffed. “You’re the smartest person I know; you can do anything.”

Silence overtook the pair, letting the words hang in the air. It wasn’t often Alex complimented someone, especially on their brains, but Erin was special; deep in Alex’s heart, he knew that she would always be special to him. She cleared her throat.

“Yeah, well, congratulations on your new post as Washington’s partner.” She awkwardly transitioned.

Alex rolled his eyes. “All I do is man his diary.”

“We both know it’s much more than that,” She reassured. “Besides, now you’re indispensable in more ways than one.”

He caught the hint; he was needed after the war, in both his professional and private life. Alex no longer could play his dream of becoming a martyr out; not when he had a wife waiting for him to come home at the end of each day. It was then the groomsmen came back to join them, Laurens (who she got to know at the rehearsals) draped an arm over Erin.

“Well, I’ve heard you got a special someone of your own, Ms. Burr.” He teased.

Erin was going to staple Angelica’s mouth shut.

Alex raised his brow, his mouth twisting into a teasing scowl. “Is that so?”

Erin wasn’t exactly in the mood to dive into Theodore, to lie as to why he couldn’t make it to the wedding. She shrugged off Laurens’ arm. 

“I should head back.”

“No, no! You’re not getting off that easily.” Alex put an arm in front of Erin before looking towards his group, “These guys should go.”   

After a bit of protesting, the groomsmen finally left the pair be. Erin pursed her lips, turning to Alex with an expression of remorse. Granted, she didn’t owe him an explanation, Erin just didn’t want the man to think that he influence her decision to remain quiet about Theodore.

“I meant to tell you,” Erin confessed. “But, I never see you so…”

“Hey, it’s alright.” He reassured, leaning on the bar. “I wish you brought this guy with you tonight; if he exists.”

Erin looked up sharply from her drink. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I just find it funny that the guy isn’t here, that’s all.”

 _Yep_ , Erin thought to herself as she noticed his smirk, _still a dick._ She couldn’t believe that Alex could be so cocky (well, she could). His statement made it sound as if he was jealous; an emotion no stable man should feel on his own wedding day. If Erin was level headed, she would have just let his words go (his approval meant nothing to her, really) and made her way back to the reception hall. But, alas, Alex had a way of bringing out the worst in her (and her own tipsiness didn’t help).

“Actually, he couldn’t be here because he’s married.”

The words tumble out of her mouth before she can stop them. But, after watching Alex nearly choke on his beer, Erin doesn’t regret a single word. As the groom wiped his mouth with a napkin, he nodded.

“I see.”

Erin hummed. “To the daughter of a British Commander.”

That captured his interest, Alex turning sharply towards Erin with wide eyes. “Oh shit.”

A beat of silence passed between the two; Alex using that time to process what he just heard while Erin couldn’t help but revel in her victory of one upping the man. She glanced at the clock on the wall, noticing the late hour and how it was almost time for the newlyweds to depart on their Honeymoon. She took one last sip of her drink before leaving a tip in the jar.

“Congrats again, Alexander.” Erin gave him a grin. “I’ll see you inside.”

Erin was turned around, ready to walk out of the bar when Alex’s voice called her back.

“I will never understand you, Burr.”

Erin turned to see the man with a grin on his face. Erin didn’t know if it was a grin of impressiveness or if it was one of pity for her situation. Either way, he was giving her a look of shame; he most likely was the only person who wouldn’t look at her like a ‘whore’ for being in this situation. She crossed her arms as he walked up to her, his hands in front of him in an obvious motion.

“If you love this guy, go get ‘im.” Alex shrugged, as if there wasn’t any consequences. “What are you waiting for?”

What was she waiting for? Erin was waiting for the end of the war, she was waiting for her career (her life) to begin so that she could have one with Theodore. She was waiting for her moment in the sun, and she was willing to wait for it all; no matter how long it would take. However, looking at Alexander and into his eyes that seemed to burn with the intensity she never truly reached, Erin realized that her answers wouldn’t work for him.

“You should get ready; the limo will be here soon.”

He opened his mouth, making it obvious he wasn’t done with the conversation,  but closed it just as quickly. Erin internally sighed; she was already worried that he would tell Eliza, the last thing she needed was unwarranted advice. Erin had everything under control (at least that’s what she told herself).

Alex put a gentle hand on her shoulder, a tender smile coming over his features.

“It was really good to see you, Erin.”

With a friendly kiss on the cheek, Alex left Erin to her thoughts.

 


	5. Decide to Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was a mess and, for once in her life, Erin didn’t know how to clean it up.

The world remains in the same lull; the war was wrapping up (yet still as violent as ever), Erin gets closer to a degree (only a few more months), Eliza buys an apartment she and Alex will live in after the war ends (if it ever does),  Angelica and Hannah remain married while Peggy goes to school, and Theodore goes back and forth between Erin and his ‘wife’. 

Life is the same, and it’s good. Until it’s not.

Erin starts feeling...strange. She doesn’t exactly feel “sick” (Erin constantly reassures Eliza that she doesn’t have a cold), but her exhaustion was reaching a peak; to the point that Erin found herself nodding off during class (which never happens). She starts to feel nauseous a week later, the symptom so strong that Erin has to abruptly leave dinner with Angelica and Hannah to find a bathroom in the cramped restaurant (pushing past a waiter with a tray full of drinks wasn’t exactly  her finest moment).

The couple puts it into her head that Erin needs a better sleeping schedule, that she needs to excell in “time management” if she wants to have a chance to be successful. Erin agrees, and goes to bed at ten o’clock for an entire week.

It doesn’t help, and it isn’t until Erin misses her period when she gets a pregnancy test.

She doesn’t remember calling Eliza (who had a meeting near Erin’s apartment that day) after she sees that the test is positive, but somehow, the middle sister is holding her hair back when Erin starts vomiting into the toilet, tears streaming down her face and sobs escaping her throat whenever her mouth was free.

“It’s okay, babe.” Eliza whispers, rubbing her back.

But everything wasn’t okay--not a bit.

Sure, Erin always wanted to have a kid, but not now; not when she doesn’t even have a career yet. She can’t even think about Theodore. Erin wasn’t sure when he would be back to see her, and that’s not what she wanted in the father of her child; granted, she wanted to be married before getting pregnant, but that clearly wasn’t happening anytime soon.

Everything was a mess and, for once in her life, Erin didn’t know how to clean it up.

“You’re going to keep her, right?” Eliza asks later after everything calms down.

They're sitting on the couch now, Eliza doing that ‘sister thing’ of running her fingers through Erin’s hair as the latter rests her head on her thigh. It’s calming, but not calming enough to stop Erin from sending a raised brow up to Eliza. The Schuyler shrugs, a small grin on her face.

“I always pictured you having a girl.”

Erin doesn’t even want to think about genders (or names, for that matter) right now, but finds herself answering genuinely anyway.

“Of course I’m going to keep...it.”  Erin closes her eyes once again. “The question is if Theodore wants to be involved...if he can be.”

Eliza frowns. “He’ll be thrilled, Erin.” A small giggle escapes her lips. “I can see him childproofing everything in this place.”

And Erin knows that he will be; Theodore would be heavily involved in everything that has to do with the baby. If anything, he would be the one dragging her to birthing classes and reading baby books aloud as she rests against his body. The picture makes her smile, but she knows not to get her hopes up; who knows if he’d be able to get involved, it all depends on how the war ends; and Erin hates that.

“I wish he was here,” Erin says after a few moments pass, “Maybe it wouldn’t feel so lonely.”

Erin feels Eliza’s fingers pause in her hair, and she worries that she possibly offended the sister. The last thing Erin wants is for Eliza to feel underappreciated; Erin will never be able to tell her how thankful she is for Eliza showing up without much explanation on the phone. No one else would do such a thing (Not even Angelica, who demands an explanation for  _ everything _ ).

“No matter what happens, you won’t be alone.” Eliza speaks quietly, “And it’s nice to know I won’t be either.”

It takes Erin longer than she’d like to admit to get what Eliza was saying. But, once everything clicked, she pushed aside her own feelings of doubt to engage in a screaming and hugging match with Eliza.

They were pregnant, and suddenly the world felt a little less daunting.

 

* * *

Weeks pass, and suddenly, the entire Schuyler family knows of Erin and Eliza’s state.

While Philip and Catherine prepare rooms for both babies to stay in, Angelica begins a list of novels she will read to her niece(s)/nephew(s) in due time (After seeing the list, Peggy realizes it will be easy to be the “cool aunt”). Erin still hasn’t said a word to Theodore, although she swore to Eliza that she would tell him the next time she saw him in person; Eliza follows her lead when it comes to telling Alex.

Even though Erin’s stomach is still small enough to be mistaken for having a big lunch, going to campus and the firm becomes harder on her (pregnancy presents a lot of sickness for the girl), but Erin refuses to get any special treatment from her professors and boss; harboring a fetus doesn’t mean she can’t give her all (even though she has had to leave lectures and meetings to throw up). Van Ness practically forces her to work from her apartment ( _ “My wife was just as sick as you when we had Ashley, I won’t put you through the torture her boss put on her,” _ he states). Erin leaves with little fighting; it’s actually nice to have the afternoons off after going to Litchfield.

Working from home doesn’t stop her from going into the city; Erin finds herself in Eliza and Alex’s apartment more often than not. The two share a new bond; a bond of two pregnant women whose loves were unavailable to them; Erin works on her laptop while Eliza goes over figures and files required of a social worker. The nights were quiet, but it’s what they needed.

On one of these quiet nights, the front door opens without any preamble. The two women look up from their work, as if checking the other didn’t leave, when a familiar voice calls into the home.

“Eliza?”

Alexander’s voice radiates into the living room, and watching Eliza’s face bright up is enough to make Erin smile. She stands up from the couch (a little too quickly from the way she wobbles) and watches as Alex walks into the room; despite the deeper bags under his eyes, and his hair being slightly longer, Erin notices that he looks the same (tired, older, but the same). He slightly hesitates at the sight of Erin, but that quickly passes as his eyes goes to Eliza.

“Alexander,” Eliza says so quietly, but full of joy. “What are you doing home?”

He glances at Erin once more; it’s the first time she has ever seen him sheepish (or speechless), and Erin realizes that it’s because of her. With the war still raging on, it was obvious that Alex wasn’t home by his own accord, and he seemed to be...embarrassed to say why he was home in front of someone he (respected? Hated? Erin still wasn’t sure what they were). Either way, Erin takes the hint and closes her laptop.

“Well, I have a train to catch.” Erin speaks suddenly as she packs up her bag, “I’ll leave the married couple alone.”

Alex sends a look of appreciation while Eliza turns to Erin. “Do you need me to call you a cab?”

“I’ll Uber my way,” Erin states, even though she knows Eliza doesn’t trust the app. The two girls share a hug before Erin turns to Alex. “It’s good to see your face, Alex.”

Despite Alex’s own internal struggles, he smiles a genuine smile. “You too, Burr.”

With one last handshake, Erin leaves the couple to their night of confessions.

* * *

Theodore comes home to her two weeks later; his wedding ring is off, and he tells her that Washington has no more use for him ( _ “The General has a plan,” _ ) and Erin has never felt more relieved in her life as she places a hand behind his neck and brings him down for a kiss.

It’s only after she feels his hands go from her hips to her roundness when Erin realizes she’s too late; Theodore pulls away from the kiss, his eyes on her perturbing stomach.

“Erin,” He chokes out, his hands still on her roundness. “You’re…”

Her eyes grow wide, and she finds herself slightly shaking. Erin couldn’t believe this was how the news was going to be dropped. She had everything planned; a dinner of Chinese food (her constant craving) and fortune cookies with special messages that said “a baby is in your future. Granted, it was all Eliza’s idea (and she helped), but Erin fell in love with it. Instead, she was careless and allowed Theodore to find out himself; at least, that’s what Erin hoped was happening as she stared blankly at her.

“Yeah,” Erin nods, a smile appears before disappearing just as quickly. “I’m pregnant.”

Theodore meets Erin’s eyes, and she’s ready for the worse; what if she was wrong and he wouldn’t be happy? What if he wasn’t ready to be a father? What if he found someone else in London? All negative thoughts leave Erin’s mind as Theodore pulls her in for one more kiss. He then pulls Erin into his chest, planting a kiss on top of her head.

“We’re going to be a family.” He whispers into her hair.

And that’s all Erin needs to hear as she buries herself into him, neither having plans to let go anytime soon.

* * *

They get married a month later, neither able to wait any longer.

The ceremony is small; only Erin’s family (the Schuylers’) and a few friends from both sides invited to the occasion in Upstate New York (Theodore’s mother (Theodosia, his namesake) died in childbirth, and Theodore made his hatred for his father quite clear). However, none of that matters; the past finally a distant memory as they kiss at the altar before being ushered to the Schuyler Mansion for the reception of a lifetime.

“Theodore, thank you for making my sister so happy,” Eliza, the Maid of Honor, finishes up her toast. “To your union, and the joy you’re about to bring into the world.”

Theodore kisses Erin’s cheek as the room lifts their glasses in agreement, all downing their alcohol (or, in Erin and Eliza’s case, water). Alexander can’t help but watch as Theodore whispers something into Erin’s ear, his words making the girl giggle and nod before standing up (with his help) and maneuvering to the dance floor.  

The way they hold one another (so gently, almost intimately) makes his stomach twist. Alex has no idea why; he’s thrilled being Eliza’s husband (her perfection astounds him each day), and even more thrilled to have a baby on the way. However, there was something about Burr he could never let go; they were so different, yet the same.

Alex isn’t in love with Erin Burr, but interested in her; like a good book that he can’t possibly put down without getting to the ending, to see how it can get there.

“Isn’t this great?”

Eliza’s voice makes him turn away from the couple, his own wife’s eyes full of love for the newlyweds. Alex smiles; he loves that Eliza loves everything and everyone.

“It is.”

Alex agrees, his eyes on Eliza. His wife playfully slaps him in the arm.

“You’re vile.” She teases, but clearly loves the attention.

A round of clinking glasses begin, making Erin and Theodore pause in their semi-slow dance. The groom cradles the bride’s face so gently for a kiss that Alex has to look away. He stands up from his seat and offers Eliza his hand.

“I believe it’s time to offer my lovely wife a dance.”

Eliza giggles and takes his offer, the two gliding onto the dance floor and allowing the music to fill their hearts. Somehow, Alex locks eyes with Erin over Eliza’s head while she does the same over Theodore’s shoulder; Erin offers him a nod and a smile which he mirrors. Erin grins once more as she turns her attention back to Theodore, letting out a laugh as he twirls her.

_ Yes _ , Alex thinks to himself as he dances with Eliza, _ Erin Burr is interesting. _


	6. Bleed and Fight for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month later, the war ended and her water broke.

Carrying a seven-month pregnancy stomach across the Graduation stage wasn’t ideal, but Erin had a feeling that she was pulling it off from the cheers in the family section ( _ “That’s my wife!”...”That’s my sister!” _ she smiled at the sound of Theodore and Peggy’s boasting). Either way, it didn’t matter how Erin looked, because she was finally a lawyer; as of today, Erin could finally make her life mean something. She could give her parents someone to be proud of.

“I’m married to a law school graduate,” Theodore boasted between kisses. “I’m so proud of you.”

Erin grinned; she was ready to finally deserve her husband’s pride for her as well.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Theodore sent her a ‘come on,’ look, making Erin grip onto his shoulder. “I’m serious! Who else would have helped me study for my exams while rubbing cocoa butter on my stomach?”

Theodore rolled his eyes, but his smile betrayed his expression. After getting married, somehow, the couple became even more inseparable; Erin loved having Theodore around, and knowing that he wasn’t leaving anytime soon made their days even more special. Finally, they were together, and no one else could break that.

“Definitely not me.” Peggy responded, her face scrunched up in an expression of feigned disgust.

“Like I would ask you,” Erin teased.

Angelica looked between her two sisters and shook her head, “What Peggy means to say is that we’re so proud of you, mama.”

Erin smiled as she accepted the hugs and kisses from both Peggy and Angelica. Sadly, neither Eliza nor Hannah could make it; Hannah was in London, preparing for her play to premiere on the West End while Eliza (much like Erin) was having a rough pregnancy and was sick for the day. It also didn’t help that Alex was called back to war by Washington, leaving Eliza alone; thankfully, Angelica made sure Eliza never felt alone, the sister staying at her apartment to help her through the final months of pregnancy.

“Thanks, guys.” Erin sighed, “Now, all I need is a job.”

Theodore rubbed her back. “No, what you need is to take a break.”

He had been saying that ever since she had passed her finals ( _ “you need to relax” _ ... _ ”for the baby” _ ). Erin had been taking it easy for the baby (online classes became her best friend), but she hadn’t really been much of a wife to Theodore. After their marriage (which was amazing) they simply went back to their old routine; the same relationship, but with different titles. She knew Theodore wanted time to be a married couple, and just a married couple ; and they only had three months left to do so.

Looking up at her husband, and giving him a kiss on the corner of his mouth, she once again put her needs on the back burner and allowed herself to wait once more.

* * *

In the eighth month of pregnancy, Erin gets an email from Van Ness stating that she has a job at his firm whenever she’s ready (and after she spends time with her newborn). Theodore’s thrilled; for both Erin, and the fact that they can finally get a place in Manhattan close to both of their offices. She’s excited, but not as excited as she would have been last month.

Erin decides that it’s nice to take a break, to fill her days of waiting by spending time with Theodore instead of rushing through online classes (he makes a habit of working on Times articles from home).

At last, the two are able to live as a normal married couple who is expecting a baby; they go to birthing classes, Theodore runs out to the Market to get her the food she was craving that hour. Erin plays with her husband’s hair as he puts his ear to her enlarged stomach, smiling as he declares that he can hear the heartbeat of their unborn child. She falls asleep to him reading baby books aloud (after making fun of him excessively highlighting, of course) .

Everything is nice; they both agree it’s relaxing to focus on one thing at a time.  

Hopping a train to Manhattan becomes impossible (especially with Theodore’s overprotective nature), so Erin picks up the habit calling Eliza once a day, checking on the pregnant woman during her own time of waiting.

She tells Erin that Alex had finally received the command he was craving; despite being lonely, Erin picks up that Eliza is proud of her husband. Erin just hopes that he had put his own dreams of martyrdom behind him, dreams that seemed unhealthily important to him; however, with a woman like Eliza waiting for you, and a baby on the way, it seemed that Alex finally had a good incentive to stay alive.

Erin prays that Eliza gets to keep him.

“She can’t even give you a hint on what the big plan is?” Theodore asks one morning as he prepares breakfast, desperate for any information on the end of the war.

Erin shrugs, “I don’t think she even knows,” She can’t help but grin as she scrolls through her iPad, bookmarking yet another Townhouse. “Sorry, Mr. Reporter. No inside scoop here.”

“What was the point of even marrying you, then?” Theodore jokes, a feigned groan coming out of his mouth.

“Well, there is the whole ‘love thing’.” 

The toast pops out of the toaster, and he follows Erin’s craving by not buttering it or adding any other fixings as he carries to the table.

“Oh, right. _That_.”

He places the plate before her, but not without planting a soft kiss to her lips. Erin smiles, wondering how she got so lucky. Lucky to have a man in her life who was there for her whenever she needed, who filled her days with bliss. She had read stories about woman who said their husbands looked at them differently after getting pregnant, as if they weren’t wives anymore and just the ‘mother of their children’; Theodore only looked at her with more love and affection than she thought possible for a human being.

Erin thought she couldn’t be happier.

Then, a month later, the war ended and her water broke.

* * *

“She’s beautiful.” The father spoke in awe.

“She’s perfect.” The mother agreed, her voice slightly broken.

She was everything ( **is** everything).

Erin couldn’t tear her gaze away from the bundle in her arms, the baby girl looking up at Erin with the same amount of interest ( _ “She recognizes you!”  _ Theodore beamed). Eliza (who had Philip only three weeks prior) told the couple that once they held the baby in their arms, everything would change for them; something in their brains would click on and their hearts would grow bigger upon the simplest glance ( _ “Alex and I can look at him all day,”  _ Eliza spoke fondly on the phone). Erin believed her, but she didn’t think it would be this extreme.

Erin looked down at this baby, and wanted to give her the world.

The delivery was hard, and Erin could see Theodore trying to stomach his nerves at the sight of Erin in pain; she knew he was thinking of his mother, how she had died mere minutes after bringing him into the world. She attempted to give him a peace of mind by holding his hand, but that only turned into Erin screaming and squeezing his fingers for dear life as another contraction ripped through her.

However, none of that seemed to matter now. Nothing mattered, only she did.

“We never agreed on a name.” Theodore spoke after getting passed the baby, beaming down at the little girl (Erin smiled at how small she looked in his arms).

The two scoured every baby naming site, compiling separate lists for each gender between the two of them. Upon further inspection, Erin realized that neither had any of the same names on their own paper; while Theodore had more traditional names, Erin was leaning towards ‘edgier’ ones ( _ “We have very different tastes,” _ Theodore joked after reading her list). Erin thought it would be a struggle to find something they would both be happy with.

However, today made everything seem a little easier; and Erin decided to name the little girl in Theodore’s arms after the woman who made all of this possible. Whom made her adult life full of love and pride.

“Theodosia.”

Theodore looked up to Erin with wide eyes. Erin nodded to herself.

“Theodosia Burr-Bartow.” She grinned, liking the way the name fell on her tongue. “It fits her, doesn’t it?”

From the tears falling from his eyes, and the soft kiss she received on her lips, Erin had a feeling he agreed.

* * *

Erin stays home with Theodosia for a month; giving both her and Theodore enough time to find a townhouse in Manhattan to settle in to, and yet not enough to make Erin’s departure from her daughter easy.

She never thought she would be that mother who cries when leaving her baby for the first time, but Erin was still wiping away tears in the taxi on the way to Van Ness’s firm. Despite Theodore’s attempts to calm her down ( _ “She’ll be here when you get back, babe,”  _ He hugged.)  and his promise that he will not leave the baby alone for a second while working from home for the day, Erin hated the fact that her daughter would be waking up without her. For the first time in Theodosia’s life, her mother would not be the first face she sees in the morning.

Erin had to fix her make-up in the firm’s bathroom before going into the office.

Once she was calmed down (which required an impromptu facetime with Theodore and Theodosia), Erin started enjoying herself in the firm. They gave her an office (a big one, but she noticed how there was another desk littered with scrap paper on the opposite wall, so her ego wasn’t too inflated), and an email address that was already full of information for her first case; a murder trial, the first of the new nation.

Erin wasn’t sure what she did to earn Van Ness’ trust on such an important case; a case in which the outcome would set expectations on how the judicial system would (should) work in the United States (that name was still weird to Erin’s tongue). Either way, Erin wasn’t going to let his faith in her be wasted and began digging through every piece of information she would need to nail the culprit; she would have know every detail, especially if she was going to be doing this alone.

“Erin Burr, you’ve returned!”

Only Erin wasn’t alone. Not anymore.

Alexander Hamilton walked into the office with a flourish, a briefcase in his hand as he went to the desk littered with papers (so, it wasn’t a designated trash desk). His smile practically took up his entire face, and Erin struggled to pick her jaw up from the floor.

“Hamilton,” Erin blinked. “You work here?” It came out more as a question; a statement of disbelief.

“As of last month, yes ma’am.” Alex turned his attention to his laptop, booting it up. “I hope you’re a bit more observant on our case.”

Our case. **Our**.

Erin didn’t even know that he wanted to be a lawyer, let alone had time to speed through his courses; but she supposed that being the right hand man of General Washington had its perks.

“We’re going to be working together?” Erin asked, as if trying to piece everything together. “As in...partners?”

Alex’s brows furrowed before sarcastically replying. “Well, don’t sound too excited.”  

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Erin was quick to defend (and lie), “It’s just...I didn’t know you even went to law school.”

“I was enrolled in online courses during the war, and you should know that being home all day makes it easy to finish classes,” Alex put his hand up in mock reassurance. “Don’t worry, I’m licensed to be here.”

Erin merely nodded. It had been awhile since she’s seen the man; she hadn’t seen him nor Eliza since Philip was born and, with Theodosia now in the mix, it was hard to schedule some ‘adult time’ that didn’t require having all of one’s attention on a baby.

However, she had talked to Eliza a couple of times on the phone, and the woman failed to mention Alex’s new profession; not to mention the fact that he was taking any classes at all. Eliza would have some major explaining to do.

“Look, if this is going to be weird…” Alex began, the silence obviously making him uncomfortable.

Erin crossed her arms. “Why would it be weird?”

“You obviously still have some issues with me.”

“I do not!”

Alex raised his brows, and Erin sighed. The two haven’t been in the same room together since he came to Eliza’s apartment and, even before that, the last time they were talkative with one another they were... _ busy _ with one another. Erin was over the fact that they slept together (it was years ago), but she wasn’t doing a good job of showing it. Alex wasn’t one to pick up on internal cues very well, and Erin supposed it was time for her to ‘walk-the-walk’.

“I don’t have any issues with you, Hamilton.” Erin explained as Alex leaned on his desk. “Even if I did, I’m a professional who can keep my personal life outside the office.”

“So am I.” He talked as if it was a competition.

Erin leaned back in her chair, swallowing her anger. “Well, then we have nothing to worry about.”

“Guess not.”

Erin watched as Alex went around his desk and took a seat in his rolling chair, pretending to busy himself with the ‘Welcome’ screen on his laptop screen. Silence hit the small office once more; Alex twirled a pencil in his fingers while Erin tapped on the desk.

Erin still couldn’t stomach the hand she had been dealt; the two went from never seeing one another to now being locked in the same office everyday, to working together on what was expected to be a historic case. The mere thought of being on a ‘historic’ case made Erin smile; she was finally going to make a difference, and so quickly, too.

However, that was only if she and Alex could work together.

Erin pursed her lips. She had been waiting too long to let Alex’s presence stop her from changing the world; it was time to put the past (and any ill feelings) aside, and to get this done. Erin cleared her throat, earning Alex’s attention.

“Do you want to get me up to speed on this case?”

Alex smiled, happy for the tension breaker. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Placing his laptop on his lap, Alex pushed his rolling chair towards Erin desk, the action making the girl laugh (and nearly taking her down). Alex talked Erin through notes, forwarded her a few files as the two began to talk strategy; Erin was pleased to see that he knew his stuff.

Relief washed through her; they could do this. Erin could do this.

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea that came to me after hearing about the possibility of having a female Burr in future productions!  
> It'll become more obvious that it's in a 'modern time' later, but for now, I hope you all enjoyed it!


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